The Many Moods of My Wife

Mood: The Vent

Signs: constant talking about co-workers you don’t know, may be accompanied by tears or yelling at others not present

Notes: crack a beer and get comfy, nod in agreement frequently, occasionally say “yeah, that sucks” or similar empty platitude

~

Mood: The Ebert

Signs: unabashed critique of how you’re spending your day, what you’re doing wrong, your communication skills, etc.

Notes: she’s probably right

~

Mood: The Koala

Signs: clingy, cuddly, touchy-feely

Notes: tolerable, may lead to sex?

~

Mood: The Monk

Signs: unusually quiet, withdrawn, not talking for once

Notes: caution – a storm may be brewing, often precedes Agitated Bag-lady (see below)

~

Mood: The Agitated Bag-lady

Signs: muttering to self, outbursts of profanity, frantic gesticulating

Notes: RUN AWAY

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